When I hit this point in the semester, the point where the work never stops, the piles never reach a state of done, and I am Sisyphus, pushing my students and myself, I sometimes just stop. Today, after running some errands, I came home, exhausted, coaxing myself into an afternoon of grading. Before I could commit, I stepped outside to chat with Nan while she industriously prepared the garden. When I felt the spring warmth, I sat back in a bare lounge chair, not quite ready for its cushion, but on the cusp of days holding endless hours with nothing scheduled, nothing due.
Spring holds so much promise for days on my bicycle, spinning laps around Wash Park, staring about at dogs, people, flowers, and green, finally reflecting and creating in my mind. Spring reminds me that even though my freedom is less than ideal now, it is a choice and soon, I will have plenty of space and time for choice.
Time to grade.